For some women, February means extra romance. Flowers, chocolates, perfume. For others it also means flowers, chocolates and perfume. But in a very different way!
For the latter group of women, the flowers, the chocolates, the perfume, gifted on February 14th, are not a sign of extra romance. Or ‘regular’ romance.! No! They are Guilty Conscience or “Part of the Plan” items. The Plan to deceive her.
It was HER perfumed skin, the other woman’s perfumed skin, that got to lie on top of him. Under him. She’d known it for quite a while. She hadn’t wanted to know it! So, it wasn’t true! But on February 14th, it became terribly, terribly true.
The flowers, chocolates and bottle of perfume that he had sent to the house? Yes, delivered via courier! So formal, so effortless. Yet she was weirdly glad to read the accompanying note; she’d reached her limit of lying to herself. The note read that he hoped that the little gifts would make up for the fact that he had to work late that night.
She did what she had to do, in order to see, with doubt removed, what he was up to.
And she saw.
Her heart had a pain that she had never felt before.
Confronted, he couldn’t, he didn’t, deny it.
Now the aftermath.
That awful pain in her heart continues. She asks herself: “What is it about me that makes me not good enough anymore?” Depression. Rage. “He says he’s sorry. So, there’s hope, right?” They have work to do on their relationship, that’s for sure. But, “Is he truly sorry?” And, “Anyway, is “Sorry” really good enough?” And, “Will he do it again?!”
Back and forth, and here and there, with her emotions and thoughts. All so unfair, since it wasn’t her who had brought any of this upon the two of them! “Or did I?!” She questions her worth again.