Firstly, let me be utterly clear that I am NOT advocating for or suggesting that anyone ignore their City’s or State’s official orders to stay home, or to stay home apart from for certain activities. We are in the depths of a global health crisis, with the COVID-19 pandemic, and we should all be playing our parts in an attempt to stop the spread of this, sometimes deadly, virus.
The dangers that I am referring to are in relation to two specific populations that I have in mind. Namely, victims of domestic violence and people who live alone. Staying at home to avoid contracting COVID-19, or infecting others, is wise and apparently necessary, yet simultaneously it is dangerous for certain people. I.e. For the former group of people named above, victims of domestic violence, it is either dangerous in terms of there now being a greater risk of being physically assaulted in their home, or/and in terms of being directly emotionally and psychologically abused by a partner, or/and in terms of the indirect emotional and psychological effects that arise due to being at home for a greater amount of time with one’s abuser. And for the latter group, those living alone, it is dangerous in terms of heightened emotions, (uncomfortable, unwanted ones), that could be experienced under such circumstances.
“NYPD Commissioner Dermot Shea said police have not seen an uptick in 911 calls related to domestic violence following the home-bound order”. Source: https://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/coronavirus/domestic-violence-during-covid-19-crisis-where-to-get-help-in-the-tri-state/2358816/ Retrieved 04.04.20. Regardless of reported cases, it is realistically likely that there have been and will be more incidents of domestic violence in homes than usual, whilst couples and families are forced to stay at home due to the COVID-19 crisis. Unfortunately and frighteningly, despite an increase in incidents, it is to be expected that less incidents will actually be reported at this time, given the decrease in opportunity for victims to find themselves at a safe enough physical distance from their abusers, due to the “new normal” of now being at home together practically 24/7 for most.
Whereas the two partners in an abusive relationship usually have many hours apart per day when one or both are at work, now the abusive partner has close to round-the-clock access to his victim, his partner, and will likely take cruel advantage of it! He can amp up many of his usual modi operandi for abusing and add new elements to those. His abusive strategies: Intimidation; coercion and threats; emotional and psychological abuse; economic abuse; minimizing, denying and blaming; using male privilege; using children; isolation.
That latter strategy? Isolation. The abuser has been handed that one “on a plate”! He can now watch her every move. He knows who she calls on the phone. There is nowhere for her to hide. How will she manage to call someone to ask for help, even if just for a listening ear?
Without being able to take a break from her abuser for a chance to think clearly, the abuser can bombard her with words that are spoken to destroy her and they are likely to be overwhelming. The National Domestic Violence “hotline has heard from survivors who say that their abusers were using COVID-19 as a scare tactic.” And “According to the national hotline, abusive partners could prevent access to hand sanitizer and other necessary items to safeguard against the health crisis. They also could provide misinformation to frighten survivors or threaten to cancel their insurance.” Source: https://auburnpub.com/news/local/govt-and-politics/with-uptick-in-domestic-violence-cases-during-covid-19-outbreak-ny-seeks-to-help-victims/article_6ce5dcf0-4e0f-5b5b-8b66-949245ba6660.html Retrieved 04.04.20.
And turning now to the other population mentioned earlier. Those people who live alone. By nature, human beings are social creatures. Some of us are more introverted than others, but generally speaking, human beings seek out a mate to share parts of their lives with, and friends too. People can continue to communicate with friends, albeit not now in person, but consider the differences for a single person compared to a married couple or any other couple living together during this restriction on leaving one’s home! Excluding, of course, the relationships which are very dysfunctional, e.g. where one of the partners is abusive or has a narcissistic personality disorder, someone with a partner at home with them is generally speaking in a much healthier situation than someone living alone. Those with a co-habiting partner have someone to lie next to at night, someone to eat meals with, someone at hand to turn to for comfort at a scary time like this or to simply let out thoughts and feelings to. Those without such a ‘luxury’ are at risk of feeling extra lonely during this health crisis, and a stream of thoughts, (often false, but believed by the thinker at the time), can pop up, leading to emotional pain. “Nobody loves me!” Nobody will ever love me!” I’m not good enough to be wanted by a partner!” “My life is pointless as a single person!” The list goes on. It is my hope that couples with friends who are single will reach out to those friends and remind them that they are not as alone as they sometimes feel, and that they are cared about. It could take away a least a little pain, even if only momentarily.
NOTE: Above, I have referred to abusers as male. However, it is a fact that abusers are Not always male.